I will have a tough day ahead of me. Today, I will be bringing my friend of 15 years to her deathbed. It sounds so ominous and creepy. And I feel like I have to keep explaining myself, and justifying this decision. Somehow, it just doesn't seem right, and yet I don't want her to suffer any more. This mental struggle is one I have been wrestling with for over a month, and while my head knows that it is the most humane thing to do for her, my heart is having trouble with letting her go.
My friend has been sick for a while. She has kidney failure, and has been in a slow decline. Although her good-natured temperment has never wavered, I can see her change as this disease has progressed. She has lost weight, and is no longer the pleasingly plump little kitty she used to be. The interest in food isn't as captivating as the desire for water. She will constantly stalk the house for the freshest water. Including her water bowls, which get freshened several times a day, she will seek out water in the toilet bowls, the drops of water left in the tub after a shower, she will stalk the kitchen sink for bowls or dishes with water left in them. I even saw her licking the melted snow off the floor when the kids came in after a snow storm.
I will spare all of the unsanitary details of living with a kitty with renal failure, but in my selfish mind this was the deciding factor to my ultimate decision.
After I bring her to the vet, I will bring her home again, and provide a proper burial for her. She will be under a tree, out near the garden, and in view of a birdhouse...a most pleasant setting.
I am selfishly glad to be home alone with her for her last few hours.
Today, I will say goodbye to my friend...